I have not picked up a camera in a long time. My film camera has room left for pictures but lacks motivation and inspiration.
It's hard to make positive changes in your life when the things you want to change are not in your control. Sure, you can change yourself but what happens when you want a job, you want new (and interesting) people in your life, what happens when everything you want is located outside of you?
My answer is at least try and fix myself and hope everything will follow. But I'm nearly void of hope. I'm depressed and wanting light. It's like everything inside of me is quicksand and I'm drowning in it.

At the very least, it's a change from everything external being quicksand.

My mouth is witty is dry with sarcasm, my eyes are heavy and unfocused. All I can do is smoke and pollute the air (in addition to my lungs).

But still, something keeps me going everyday. I'd like to find out what that is because I refuse to believe it's just oxygen.

On a creative front, I'm so fucked up, I can't even write. And that was the one last thing I had to bring a moment's worth of...something beautiful...to my life.